As we continue to emerge from the two plus year cocoon of the pandemic, it is apparent that, while we have been fastidious in avoiding exposure to our elderly friends and family, predators have seen this as the perfect opportunity. During the many years I have been working in the field of Elder Law and Guardianship, I have had a handful of cases of financial exploitation. During 2022 I have already had more such cases than I had during my entire career. The victims vary from a 62-year-old widow to an 86-year-old gentleman to a 95-year-old grandmother. Some of the victims have been willing, albeit unknowing, co-conspirators in their own financial downfall, some have been resistant to the exploitation and still others have been completely unaware that they have been exploited. Across the spectrum of cases, however, there are a variety of factors that appear time and again, almost as though there existed a handbook on how to be a financial predator. This has become so prevalent that there are tips for avoiding financial exploitation on the New York State website at: nys.gov. This article is intended to help you notice the warning signs and sets out some of the actions you can take if you fear someone you care about has been exploited.
Financial exploiters are predators. Like any predator they possess a sixth sense for a vulnerable victim, be it an injured zebra in the wild or a lonely elderly person living alone. Those of us who are not predators must act as protectors to ensure that the vulnerable are protected – sometimes even from themselves. Here are the behaviors that are the warning signs that a financial predator has moved in on someone about whom you care:
WARNING SIGN #1: THE DOGOODER:
The first warning sign that a predator has someone you love in the cross-hairs is an innocuous one – the predator seems to be very interested and caring toward your loved one. The predator can come in all forms, including a neighbor, a bank employee, or even a stranger. In fact, I had a case where an elderly man met someone on the bus stop, and before the family even knew about her she was living in his home. She eventually was arrested, but not before she stole most of his cash, burned his house down, and took off with his car.
It can also be a caregiver. If it is a caregiver, they go beyond the scope of their job and ‘befriend’ the vulnerable party, offering to do things for them that are personal and necessary such as food shopping, paying bills, or going to the bank. Of course, there is an ulterior motive for their friendship and a method to their kindness. Once they have gotten the ATM card or the bank account information the predator can investigate whether or not the proposed victim has anything worth stealing. Of course, during the pandemic, this was a Godsend for those of us caring for elderly parents, especially if they live far away from us. This is the beginning of the financial end for the victim. Little by little the predator will take control away from the victim, all under the guise of being helpful. Most people are trusting by nature, and predators are usually good at exploiting that trust. Again, you may be relieved that you have someone looking out for your loved one, and that you do not have to carry the responsibility yourself – just be aware that sometimes if it seems to be too good to be true, it may be. Look for the other warning signs listed below as well.
SOLUTION:
If you have an elderly parent or a close family member or friend get them to an Elder Law attorney so that a power of attorney can be drawn up naming you as their agent. You can then ask the bank to send bank statements to you so you can monitor the spending habits. You will know what looks suspicious if you know what is normal. As soon as you see large cash withdrawals, ATM purchases, or even large deposits, check them out immediately. You only have 30 days to question a transaction on a bank statement so time is of the essence. If you prefer, you can ask your loved one to open online banking for them, even if you aren’t on the account. That will allow you to set alerts so that the bank will email you when something seems unusual. If you loved one uses a particular bank for many years, odds are that the bank employees are familiar with his or her routine. Go into the branch and talk to the employees and ask them to alert you if they see something suspicious or unusual. You can also talk to the superintendent in the building or neighbors where your loved one resides, so that everyone around your loved one is on guard.
If you see ANYTHING out of the norm, consult an attorney immediately. Remember the longer it takes for you to act the harder it will be to get the money back and the more money the predator will take. Usually predators have no assets in their own name, so stopping the exploitation as soon as possible is essential. Also, as much as your loved one may object, change caregivers frequently. This is especially important if you are using privately sourced caregivers, since there is no agency to which you can make a report. You can also investigate the caregiver before you hire him or her by opening an account with a background checking software. Just Google background checks and you will be sent to a number of websites, including Intellius, Been Verified, and other such sites that can give you information about the party you are interested in, including a criminal back ground check. Make sure that when the caregiver is hired you get a copy of their driver’s license or other government identification, like a passport so that if something happens you have a way of finding them.
Lastly, keeping in touch by telephone or even video call is great, but nothing compares to in-person visits. Try to make seeing your loved one at least quarterly a priority and don’t always call before you go visit, so you can catch the predator unaware.
WARNING SIGN #2: I CAN NEVER GET IN TOUCH WITH [fill in the blank]:
The next thing you will notice when a predator has moved in on a target, is that you can never get in touch with your friend or relative. Whenever you call, he or she is bathing, sleeping, or away from the phone, or busy. If the phone just rings and rings when you call, they could be out – or the predator may have blocked your number. There are a variety of ways the predator can interfere with your access to a loved one, some you would never imagine. This is referred to as isolation. The predator isolates the prey from everyone who cares about them making the prey fully dependent upon the predator to meet his or her needs. If you cannot get in touch with your loved one without going through his or her caregiver, be suspicious. Also, if your key no longer works or you need someone else to let you into your loved one’s home – beware!
Remember, while you are trying to get in touch with your loved one or to see him or her, the predator is filling his or her head with lies – making statements such as: “How sad your family never calls you”; or “I am so glad I am here for you”; or “I guess everyone is too busy for you”, “What would you do without me”, etc., etc. The predator is probably taking steps to reinforce their control over your loved one, and may be taking them to a lawyer or to the bank.
SOLUTION:
BE PUSHY! Don’t take no for an answer. Just show up at your loved ones home. If you see anything amiss (more about this in the next warning sign) step in immediately to protect your loved one. Usually at this point you will have no choice but to commence a guardianship proceeding for your loved one.
WARNING SIGN #3 – SURVEILLANCE:
When you visit your loved one, you should be on the lookout for the third sign of possible financial exploitation – SURVEILLANCE. Today, anyone with a smart phone can set up surveillance on another person, either with or without his/her knowledge. Look for cameras in and outside the house, like baby monitors and “ring” door bell devices. This will allow the predator to monitor who sees the prey, and to listen into the conversations you have with them. While monitors are very useful in caring for someone when you can’t be on sight all the time, such monitoring devices can be used to reinforce the control over your loved one by the predator.
SOLUTION:
Remove the devices if you didn’t install them. If you did install them, change the password frequently to avoid access by third parties. If you remove the devices and the caregiver or another family member gets upset you have your answer.
WARNING SIGN #4 – CHANGE IN ATTITUDE:
If your loved one begins treating you badly or speaking to you angrily, be wary. The predator will often poison the prey’s feelings for everyone else to reinforce their control. Any change in attitude toward you should be taken seriously. If your loved one seems afraid of anyone this is another possible warning sign. Begin an investigation immediately, and see an Elder Law attorney for advice in how to combat the predator.
SOLUTION:
Go to see your loved one. Talk to them. If they seem confused or defensive, investigate further. Try to see your loved one outside the presence of the potential predator. If you can’t arrange that – be immediately suspicious.
Unfortunately, financial exploitation can come in many varieties and take many forms. Many times the victim is so reliant upon the predator that they protect the predator at any cost. You may feel like you are being “mean” by interfering with such an important relationship. It is all contrived though. The predator only cares about what he/she can get from your loved one. Don’t let them win.
My next article will deal with Article 81 guardianships and discovery and turnover proceedings, which are the vehicle by which you can recover property stolen from your loved one.